![]() ![]() So not only do they keep it, they name the little fucker Dren, who as she ages becomes more and more human in appearance, which is why I can say “She” with a degree of confidence, I told you they’d watched Species, and probably even the two lousy sequels!Įlsa becomes more and more attached to Dren as she learns and develops at an astonishing rate, Clive even takes more of an active interest after he sorta tries to drown her at one point – which for some reason Elsa doesn’t bother thinking about too much, and it is only when Clive’s brother and fellow scientist Kevin encounters Dren for himself that they must think of more permanent lodgings. Elsa explains that the splicing process has actually accelerated the growth and development of the creature that it will only last a short while anyway – “so let’s keep it”, Clive begrudgingly agrees. It is evident that Elsa is now having feelings that are far more maternal, though unfortunately Clive gets very cold feet and decides that they must end this right now… and I mean “end” in the most final of ways for little Shamu. Thankfully shortly after Elsa realises that the big nut was merely a pod that held the actual creature, that when seen looks like a weird plucked chicken – only with the face of a seal. (“I don’t care, as long as he doesn’t have Clive’s nose!”) So when the “baby” finally arrives and looks just like a giant testicle, it’s fair to say I was a little let down. The new foetus/embryo/whatever gestates at a remarkable rate and seemingly within days is ready to hatch/be born/whatever from its cocoon/nest/womb/whatever, given that the “whatevers” could add up to almost anything there is some genuine anticipation as to what the thing will actually look like. ![]() They ultimately decide to let the experiment run a while and agree to can it if it gets too intense. They try and fail several times before changing a CD and having almost immediate success, at this stage they ponder the “ifs”, if we do this what happens, if we make this public what happens. They decide to Rage against the Machine and continue the research on the sly. They work for a company named N.E.R.D: Oh I just can’t stop these chuckles from escaping! Now Clive and Else are not your average scientists, they are hip and funky and listen to music, they high five in convoluted ways and eat tic-tacs… wa-hey indeed. They realise that by splicing human DNA even greater results are possible, so they take their news to the bigwigs in Head Office and instead of respect and congratulations they are told to shelve the research and go in another direction as apparently society isn’t ready for such news – or you could read into it that curing diseases is bad for business if you are in the business of selling treatments for such. ![]() The lead scientists responsible for the breakthrough are Clive (Adrian Brody) and Elsa (Sarah Polley), who are also a couple. The baby is not the first of it’s kind and was genetically engineered through the splicing of genes, it is a genetic and massive scientific breakthrough, as the creature’s DNA makeup provides clues as to potential cures for various diseases. So that first part made no sense at all – get used to it. When we see the baby it is in fact eyeless (at least according to my non fish-eyes) and looks like a giant tongue about the size of a loaf of bread, pink and fleshy with no arms or legs. For some reason people took this movie more seriously and gave it far more credit than they should – And that’s only the slightly longer version!Īfter some decidedly cheap and tacky looking credits we witness the “birth” of some form of baby, a baby that apparently sees very well and views things through a fish-eye lens, a baby apparently with a massive eye which pulses for some reason. The slightly longer answer is someone saw Species a few too many times and decided to make almost exactly the same movie, only from the scientist’s point of view, and instead of a cast featuring TV rejects and Henstridge’s chest-puppies they cast respected actors Sarah Polley and Adrian Brody. In the end I thought what I might say if the following exchange happened: Immediately after Splice finished I sat for a second and pondered what I had watched.
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